You probably don’t remember me, but I remember you. I can picture your face, your eyes, the curve of your mouth, the grip of your hand on the door knob. No, dear doctor, you probably don’t remember me. But I can’t forget you.
You see, thirteen years ago you told me I was pregnant. You looked at me, a young, teenage girl, barely out of highschool, and with coolness in your eyes and a chart in your hand, you sat across from me. You watched me as I cried. You watched as my past, my present and my future all raced through my mind. As my emotions and a child’s life hung in the balance, this is what you said, “You have 2 choices. You can either keep the baby. It will change your life forever. You won’t be able to finish school or go out with your friends.”
You stopped. I looked up at you. In a decided voice you said, “Or you can terminate it.”
I looked at you through the fog of my thoughts and the mist of my tears. I shook my head and said, “No, I’m keeping it.” You tried to talk me out of it. You told me my boyfriend wouldn’t support me or stick around. I walked out of your clinic confused, scared and embarrassed.
That was the last time we spoke. The last time you saw me. But I’ve seen you. I’ve seen you many times, dear Doctor, in my thoughts. I’ve prayed for you and your patients. I wonder how many other mothers you’ve said those things to. I wonder how many took your advice.
The ‘it’ you suggested I terminate is now 12 years old. She’s a beautiful young lady who’s growing closer to her God and her family everyday. She knows whose she is and she’s learning who she is. She’s made us proud, made us laugh and made us happy. She made us parents.
I say us because the boyfriend you told me wouldn’t stick around has become my best friend. He was in the waiting room when I was in your office that day, and he’s been at my side ever since.
No, I didn’t take your advice 13 years ago, but I heard you. And your comments certainly affected me.
Dear Doctor, you convinced me that it wasn’t worth it for me to finish school. I finished out the semester, but my professors saw a change in me. I lost my effort, I didn’t study, I no longer tried. In their eyes, just as in yours, I was another statistic. Someone who could’ve been something, if only she didn’t get pregnant.
Your comment about my boyfriend, though I didn’t believe it, stuck with me. Was he just marrying me because I was pregnant? Did he ever really love me? Does he love me now? Or am I just ‘the right thing to do’?
I can still hear your comments today and I question my worth. My ability to parent. My attractiveness.
Yes, Doctor, I think about you. I pray you haven’t had many patients like me. Patients who’ve been blessed with a child, yet are scared and confused. Patients that go to their doctor - someone they trust - looking for healing.
I pray, if you do have any patients like me, you’ve rethought your comments and, instead, fill those patients with positive thoughts about their future as a mother - the joy of having a life growing in them and the abundance of love their heart will feel. I pray, instead of pointing them to the abortion clinic, you point them to the many pregnancy counseling centers in your area. Point them to people that care about their life and the life of their baby.
I pray for you too, dear Doctor. I pray for your soul. For many years I struggled with anger towards you - both my husband and I did. We wondered what kind of person would suggest ending a life? Does he even know Jesus?
Then God spoke to us. “Be kind and compassionate to one another. Forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) I am a sinner too. Among many things, I committed adultery by having sex before I was married. I, a child of God, mistreated God’s gift of sex. No, I have no right to be angry with you. I sin too.
Dear Doctor, I forgive you. More importantly, Jesus forgives you - He forgives me too.
God bless you, dear doctor. He sure has blessed me.
NotMerely A. Statistic
Author: Katrina Meinel
Katrina Meinel vividly remembers that day in the doctor's office. She knows she is a forgiven sinner and a child of God. She's happy to be the wife of 1 man and the mother of 4 children. She's convinced that 1 Corinthians 15:10 is true, “But by the grace of God, I am what I am.” Yes, her life is good, but she knows heaven will be far better!
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